JUST BEAT SARS

Yeah I just beat SARS. Pretty sweet I know. Thanks for all the support. So there I am, feeling quite pleasant about my recent victory against the evil SARS. I was still a little tuckered out from the battle so I turn on the television to it's pre-set channel 8, Global TV, to have a relaxing time taking in some brain melting non-sense. It doesn't take a lot, with one channel, there's no flicking around, so there I sat watching whatever was on, which happened to be 'The News'. It was great because I hadn't actually watched 'The News' for some time and I thought 'hey what a great way to catch up on current events'. As I watched I learned that there were no current events other then Swine Flu. There weren't any squirrels waterskiing or homeless making scrap metal into furniture and earning millions. So I was led to believe the only thing happening in our world right now is the Swine Flu...That's ok, I beat SARS, bring it on you fuckin PIGS! I'm sad that there were deaths reported in Mexico. I know some mexicans. I got upset when I learned that there were illnesses in Canada. Im Canadian, you know? But what the fuck! Everybody gets the Flu. I bet there are 100 people in BC with a flu right now, just barfing out both ends. 

Pandemic...'81 people dead in mexico...3 people sick in BC...1 sick in Toronto..." etc. Is there not 81 people that die in mexico every morning, solely because they live in mexico? I mean, the quality of life down there is pretty spot on. Don't they have the #1 healthcare in the Universe? Last time I went to mexico I was amazed at how healthy everyone was and how clean everything appeared to be. There were even public bathing pools on the side of the roads. The cool thing too, is that the whole family would bathe there in the pool, even their pet dead cow. 

Look outside fuckers. Do you see meteorites raping nuns on the churches doorstep? well if you do it's time to panic. but I only saw that once and don't think it'll happen again for a while so get a beer and go skate or paint a picture of gandhi rolling in tall grass with kittens or whatever. 

Hanging at the end of the world

In the past couple of weeks the weather hasn't been acting like a beluga's blowhole, which is great. When the weather is good all there is to do is skate, drink beers, and listen to ear shattering riffs. Come may 12 Children will release their new long awaited album, which hopefully means a fucking trip to vancouver, if not at least Seattle or Tacoma, to play some long fucking overdue shows. I can't wait to hear what they've got in store for us. Fuck!!! So here's some shit to skate to:

Happy Wednesday

Talkin' bout Gas Stations

I never really liked a lot of the Guess Who. They were just like a bunch of geeks, but Ive changed my mind. They're awesome. You know what else is awesome? Cows and Cousins. It's a shitty website that documents great dudes being portrayed as shitty dudes. who doesn't like that? oh and there will be video updates of beer influenced skateboarding and skateboarding influenced shittyness. get there or don't.

CONE LICKER

Bill's the name and the game is help, haha..no, it's bill's the name, help's the game! haha right on brother. got any smokes? oh...nice weather for a wednesday? you know, sometimes they'll trade ya a pork roast with mashed potatoes for two smokes. No kiddin' man. But if ya don't got smokes it's just like a buck or two. ooh yeah, they look after you. well hey brother take care. got any smokes?

Check out this cone licker.

you can't spell fuck-ups with out UPS. Thanks for nothing.

GETTIN WEIRD

If you know me, you know I like gettin weird. whether it be intentional or just plain awkward. Hey, speaking of weird; this guy I know, Sam, he's Irish(shitty), his lady friend, and I made a video last Saturday. The conditions couldn't have been better...the weather was a beaut, I was intensely hungover, with a mask glued to my face, and Sam said he'd buy a case of Guinness later.

To see the result click on THE WEIRDO

Look for the full length shitty feature film in about a year. Filming in brogress.

this post sucks

I don't remember the last day I didn't have a coffee, a cappuccino, an espresso, a macchiato or some other form of highly caffeinated beverage. After dinner, before work, after lunch, before clocking out, after skating, while your torque'n...there are no times when its unacceptable. Ive come home from beers all night only to have made cappuccinos at 4:30 before crashing at 7.

"British researchers warned this week that "high caffeine users" — people who drink more than the equivalent of seven cups of instant coffee per day (or three cups of brewed) — are more likely to hallucinate and hear voices..."

Awesome! 4 cups of coffee + no food = tripping balls!

HIGH ON FIRE

 I overheard some guy say, 'hey man, what the fuck just happened?', and I'm pretty sure he was talking about 2008. I don't know buddy, but I do know what most certainly did happen, was the time Matt Pike grabbed me by the ears, horked a loogie of wailing razor riffs into my face until there was nothing left but a shredded pile of skin, bloodied and bashed skull, and a shitty mop of hair on top. Pure ecstasy. 

maybe 2009 will be as awesome as that time that that had happened. Let's hope so.

The Bell Tolls For Thee

I don't like eric clapton. I like some of the things he's done and played on, but it should be known that I believe he's a douche. It's the least interesting guitar playing since...ever. Cream, yeah good jams. Blues Breakers, pretty much fucking awesome, but only because John Mayall is shred law...Not John Mayer. John Fucking Mayall. There is one album, though, that will have play in my house, and I don't even know why. Long jams? not that. Whiney steve windwood vocals? couldn't be. Maybe it's the way-ahead-of-it's-time-controversially-speaking-teenie-bopper-kitty-porn album cover? Probably. you be the judge.

So there it is. That little girl must be like 14. Nice work Eric Clapton you dick. I do quite like it though(not in a peder-ass kind of way).

Here's another cool one. Big thanks to Uli John Roth ripping so hard or else I might never have seen this.

this is some unacceptable shit. what kind of symbolism is that? The Scorpions shatter 11 year olds vaginas? perfect bulls-eye, Uli. What the fuck. Less is more.

Sorry to Disappoint

Y'all

I'm going to a christmas staff party tonight. I don't have a camera right now cause it's on the fritz. I wonder if I should dress up? Maybe I'll wear what I wore all day? perhaps I'll wear the same thing tomorrow? Hell, it's only wednesday anyways. Then it came to me...



Bummer

Gay Santa wishes you a Gay Christmas

HFF

Some Medieval Shit



Happy friday.